By Hayley — the girl who thinks 4WD is a love language
There is a very special place in the world for girls who love mud riding.
We are a rare breed — part princess, part chaos, part mechanic’s worst nightmare. Most folks don’t understand us. They see mud and think:
“Ew.”
We see mud and think:
“Oh heck yeah, let me ruin these eyelashes real quick.”
Because listen… mud riding as a girl is not just a hobby.
It’s a personality trait, a lifestyle, and probably the leading cause of my mama wondering where she went wrong.
1. The Prep Phase: AKA the Delusion Stage
Girls who mud ride have two modes:
- “Let me look cute for pictures.”
- “I’m about to full-send this thing into a hole that definitely has snakes.”
There is no in-between.
You start off brushing your hair, putting on mascara, and telling yourself you’re “just going to watch.”
Five minutes later you’re knee-deep in the mud, mascara running like a sad raccoon, yelling:
“SEND IT!!!”
And your hair?
Yeah, it now has the volume of a hay bale and the texture of a wet Labrador.
2. The Ride: Where Maturity Goes to Die
The moment those tires hit mud, every shred of dignity leaves your body.
You’re holding onto that four-wheeler like it’s the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
One wrong bump and suddenly you’re airborne, questioning every life choice, praying you don’t fall off in front of that one cute guy who thinks you “ride chill.”
(Spoiler: you absolutely do NOT ride chill.)
And then comes that hole.
The one you swear you can make it through.
The one every man said “don’t try it.”
So obviously you try it.
Next thing you know, you’re stuck, your boots are suction-cupped to the earth like God pressed “glue,” and you’re yelling:
“CAN SOMEONE COME GET ME BEFORE I DISAPPEAR?!”
3. The Aftermath: Mud in Places No Mud Should Be
You come home looking like you lost a wrestling match with a swamp creature.
Mud behind your ears.
Mud in your socks.
Mud in your bra.
Mud in your soul.
You take a shower, and somehow…
MORE MUD COMES OUT.
Where was it hiding?
Is there a secret mud pocket inside my body?
Should I be concerned??
4. Why We Love It Anyway
Because truth is… mud riding makes us feel alive.
It’s loud.
It’s messy.
It’s borderline dangerous.
It’s chaotic.
AKA: our natural habitat.
There’s nothing like laughing with your friends, feeling the rumble of the engine, and forgetting every stress you’ve got because you’re too busy trying not to eat dirt.
Plus, it’s the best way to weed out weak men.
If he can’t handle you covered in mud, screaming on a four-wheeler, hair looking like a wild possum nest…
he doesn’t deserve you at your “front-camera clean angle” moment either.
5. Final Thoughts From Your Mud Princess
Being a girl who mud rides means embracing the chaos, laughing through the ugly moments, and never—EVER—wearing white.
So to every girl out there who loves horsepower and dirt more than shopping and silence:
Keep riding. Keep laughing. And keep proving that girls can out-mud ANYBODY.
Period. 💅🛻💨
